Monday, July 12, 2010

Letting Go

I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I need to let go of my ideas of what my birthday should be.

I honestly don't remember the last time my birthday was one that I would consider happy. I know that a lot of that is my own fault for having expectations of how my birthday would go and only being disappointed. But after two years ago being dumped (Even though I knew it was coming and it ended it really well because I met Nick a week later.) on my birthday I've come to realize it's not ever going to be a good day for me.

This year I had no plans for my birthday (Which isn't till August by the way) but I had plans for the weekend following. We were gonna go to a nearby water park with whatever friends were up for coming. Well I hadn't checked the calendar yet and when I did I realized that the weekend I wanted to go was the weekend in August Nick has drill. So I was bummed so I called my best friends and asked if the weekend before the originally planned one would work and they just happen to be out of town that weekend! I'm so terribly bummed that the 2 people besides my husband (and a friend who might still be able to come) I really wanted there can't make it.

So needless to say I'm just resolved to just not ever expect anything from my birthday. Not even that it will go well. Maybe it would just be better if I didn't bother to celebrate it at all. Who knows. I'll try to make the best of it, but it will still end up being a bittersweet day.

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