So I'm 38 weeks pregnant today. So basically that means I have no more than 2 weeks (give or take) till I get to see my daughter face to face. So right now I'm stuck in limbo waiting.
I keep jumping between wanting her to just get here tonight and hoping she never comes out so that I don't actually have to go through labor. One moment I just wish labor would start or my water would break. Then the next moment I'm anxious and happy I don't have to give birth quite yet.
Now don't get me wrong I've thought of the fact that birth will hurt many times through out the whole pregnancy. I even thought about it (at least briefly) before we ever even started trying to get pregnant. That doesn't mean that I'm not starting to get a little worried the closer it all gets.
I just have nothing to compare the pain of childbirth to. I've never broken a bone. I've had stitches a few times, but I honestly don't remember any of that being all that painful. The closest I even come to feeling that amount of pain is the 2 cervical biopsies I have had in the last couple years. But I have a feeling those don't at all compare.
I'm hoping to do it all without any pain meds. Hoping! That makes it all a little more daunting, but overall I feel that is the best option for me and the baby. I'm hoping I still feel like that when I'm the throws of a painful contraction.
So I sit here waiting. Counting down the days, the hours, the minutes until the pain begins. Which means I spend a lot of my time praying for God to have labor start soon and also to help me cope with the pain when it does arrive.
I've never been a very patient person, so that just magnifies everything. It makes the waiting game seem even more unbearable.
I'm just taking every day one hour, one minute or (sometimes) one second at a time.
This also makes it hard to wait. Look how darn cute she looks. I can't wait to meet her!