Update on Sisters Post!

Well Praise the Lord! When I had to go with my sister's out to dinner it was actually a really fun time. For the first time ever I was treated more as a peer then a little sister.

I also got a chance to talk with my sister Jenn and realize how terribly wrong I was being in judging her family situation without actually knowing it. I felt terrible for how I've been thinking of her for the last year. Thankfully it looks as though God is working out the situation for His glory and now I can fully see that.

I'm just happy that I seem to be at a point where I can get along with my sisters and enjoy my time with them. Hopefully it will just continue to get better.

Bah! Writer's Block!

So over 4 years ago I started writing a novel. The first rendition didn't make it very far. I then changed my format to more of a journal entry and I almost finished it. I was literally like 20 pages from it being done and then lost momentum and motivation.

Then about 8 months ago I started working on it again and decided to change the format yet again. I worked on it for a couple of weeks and then let it go. I would now really like to work on it. Honestly work on it. But I have absolutely no inspiration or drive to do so.

This is so frustrating!

Sisters?

Yesterday my oldest sister came in from Michigan. I've been roped into going to lunch with her and my mom today around noon.

Tammy, Jenn, Me & Tasha

A few years ago I would have been excited to get to hang-out with my sister. Because back then she was the only one of them that treated me like an adult and that I remotely got along with. Now that's changed drastically. Honestly I wouldn't be feeling like I'm missing something if I didn't even get to see her while she's here.

I've always been the baby and as such have been treated so. Even now that I'm older and married they still treat me like their baby sister and don't really talk to me. I've become extremely reserved around them, because I just feel like my thoughts on anything are not really listened to or wanted. I don't remember the last time one of my sister's asked how I was doing and what I've been up to. I've also never been able to please them. I'm never doing enough with my life to make them happy and they feel my aspirations in life (ultimately being a stay at home mom and homeschooling my kids) isn't good enough. They think I need to go to college and be a career woman who puts it on hold for a bit to have kids but then just heads right back. I don't even have kids yet and I feel the most fulfilled I ever have in my entire life.

I really want to be like those sisters who all get along (at least most the time) and feel like their sisters are like friends. But I'm just realizing more and more that won't ever be my family.

Thankfully, the Lord has blessed me with the most amazing spiritual sister's I could ever ask for. My 3 best friends are the best sisters I could ever have. I'm so blessed to have them in my life and still have them in my life after all these years. (With Caitlin it's been almost 16 years!) So I might never be "friends" with my sisters, but my friends are great "sisters"!

Kelsey, Caitlin, Me & Briana

Setting Goals

I have a chance with the next few weeks to get back into the habit of working out. I have a break from my typical work schedule because Gymnastics is on it's break before Fall Sessions start. Therefore I have more time on my hands. So I should use that time wisely and start working out more.

My only problem is that I just can't stand to work out. There is nothing about working out that I enjoy. I hate getting sweaty and stinky. I also really don't like how worn out I feel afterwards. I know I need to do it more though.

I've gained 20 pounds since going on birth control and getting married. I know that most of that excess weight was put on because I went on birth control and my metabolism took a hit from that. I also know that some of it went on because I began to slack in the working out and activity department and began eating like my husband. I got the eating in check I'm more aware of my portions and I stop eating when I'm full. But the work out thing never has really been picked back up.

So hopefully I can get my butt in gear and just start pushing myself. I think I'll start right now!

Birthdays

I think we've finally made it through most of our friends who are turning 21 for awhile. The next few won't be for a few months or even years with some.

Though I love going out with friends and enjoying a couple of drinks, 21st birthdays get to be a bit much. I'm more of a low key drinker who would rather go to 1 or 2 bars and enjoy myself there rather than hopping from bar to bar and then heading to an after party. Actually I prefer our weekly game nights with good friends and good beer to going out at all.

Birthdays can be fun though. Like last night. Our friend Nick (aka Naked Tim...don't ask) was turning 21. He had never drank before. He was getting $1000 for not drinking and doing drugs. So that made for an interesting night to say the least. He lived and honestly didn't even drink that much. He kept giving away his drinks cause he didn't care for them.

Over all it was a great night. Tiring, but very fun.