Forgiveness has never been an easy thing for me. Once someone wrongs me it's very hard for me to move on. If there has been an apology, forgiving is much easier. Still not easy, but easier. If there is no apology I just don't know what to do with the pain of being hurt.
I hold onto that pain. I stuff it deep down inside, but it breaks out every once and awhile.
I know the Bible calls us to forgive one another; to show each other the grace and mercy God Himself has bestowed on us. I just feel like I don't the practical application of forgiveness. I just don't know what it looks like. God has forgiven us, but our sin still saddens and hurts him.
I long to forgive, but how do you forgive when you still hurt? I've prayed for the pain to go away and the ability to truly forgive those who've wronged me. How do you forgive when the pain doesn't go away?
Does it just come down to choosing to love those people despite the fact they've hurt you? Even though it still hurts? At what point is enough, enough? God doesn't ever give up on us, but is there a point as Christians where we essentially give up on someone because all they do is hurt us? When is a relationship broken beyond forgiveness being enough? Can you forgive someone truly, but still end your relationship with them?
These are the questions I'm struggling to find answers to.
I was talking with Nick about this Sunday after church. Our pastor had preached on Matthew 5, specifically some of the beatitudes. It was Matthew 5:7 that really got me thinking;
"Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall receive mercy."
I feel like this is what I need to focus on. If God can forgive me for all of the wrongs I've done to Him, the wrongs I'm continually doing because of my sinful nature, then I need to find a way to forgive those who've wronged me. Even if there hasn't been an apology and probably never will be one.
You see I know what my goal is. I just haven't figured out how to actually let go of the pain.
Right now my answer is to pray more about it and search for answers in God's Word.
If you have suggestions of verses or even a book that could maybe help please leave me a comment.
I hope your week is starting off well. God bless friends!