Yesterday my oldest sister came in from Michigan. I've been roped into going to lunch with her and my mom today around noon.
A few years ago I would have been excited to get to hang-out with my sister. Because back then she was the only one of them that treated me like an adult and that I remotely got along with. Now that's changed drastically. Honestly I wouldn't be feeling like I'm missing something if I didn't even get to see her while she's here.
I've always been the baby and as such have been treated so. Even now that I'm older and married they still treat me like their baby sister and don't really talk to me. I've become extremely reserved around them, because I just feel like my thoughts on anything are not really listened to or wanted. I don't remember the last time one of my sister's asked how I was doing and what I've been up to. I've also never been able to please them. I'm never doing enough with my life to make them happy and they feel my aspirations in life (ultimately being a stay at home mom and homeschooling my kids) isn't good enough. They think I need to go to college and be a career woman who puts it on hold for a bit to have kids but then just heads right back. I don't even have kids yet and I feel the most fulfilled I ever have in my entire life.
I really want to be like those sisters who all get along (at least most the time) and feel like their sisters are like friends. But I'm just realizing more and more that won't ever be my family.
Thankfully, the Lord has blessed me with the most amazing spiritual sister's I could ever ask for. My 3 best friends are the best sisters I could ever have. I'm so blessed to have them in my life and still have them in my life after all these years. (With Caitlin it's been almost 16 years!) So I might never be "friends" with my sisters, but my friends are great "sisters"!
Kelsey, Caitlin, Me & Briana