Stuck

So before I met my husband Nick in August of 2008 I had been dating a guy (I'll refer to him as J) and he had been gone for the summer working at a summer camp. Things between J and I didn't really end well and I was ready for something new thing in my life. Right before completely calling it quits with J I had gone on my second missions trip to Haiti. Upon returning and then breaking up with J I felt God might be calling me to Missions work. I had felt that the whole time I had been in Haiti maybe that was where He was leading me. (Little did I know!)

I was so excited when getting back to the States to be able to dive deeper in to my options for missions work. My mother had helped me find a program with Youth With A Mission with their missions college. This specific one was focused on Haiti. I was extremely excited and really looking into it when POW I met Nick and everything did a 180.

Now that I'm married and know that I am exactly where God is calling me to be in my life. But I'm still kind of struggling to see where foreign missions fits into my life now. I still have such a heart and desire for spreading the Word of God to those in every corner of the world. But since Nick doesn't share the passion to be the ones to go with me, at least not yet. I realize that it might never be in God's Plan for me to go. Maybe with the exception of short term missions trips.

Our church takes time the first 2 weeks of November to focus on Missions. So last night at church the whole service was on the mission work the church is involved with in Asia & the Middle East. It always really speaks to my heart and gets me so ready to Go wherever God wants me. But then I realize that God wants me here.

We could give money to missions work. But we are a young couple who really doesn't have much extra every month. We defiantly have enough to give some, but it seems so insignificant. Though I know that isn't how God sees it.

I could pray more for our missionaries. I plan to! More so then I ever have before. I can even pray for God to plant a desire inside Nick to want to be involved more with Missions and seeing if maybe God will call us to Go one day.

I guess I don't know where I'm going with this post... I think it's just a means of venting my frustration about not knowing God's future plans for our life. I guess I just kind of feel I'm stuck in this waiting period to see what's next in God's plan for us. Whatever it is I know it will be what's right and it will bring God the most glory possible!